Hello.... :)

I realized that endless cribbing on my personal foibles gets me nowhere. This post is on my effort to overcome one of my several frailties. I often keep complaining about my inability to remember people by their names, especially of those whom I talk to occasionally but pass by vis-a-vis almost everyday. I feel embarrassed whenever security guards at office or a familiar colleague wishes me by my name while I return them with a plain ‘Helloooooo’. I should say that their greeting with a broad smile indeed makes me feel good and is also the reason for the embarrassing feeling that follows. In an instantaneous urge to cover up my forgetfulness, I do drag the “Lo” part of Hello really long and slow with a broad smile. One of my close friends in the recent past even took me as arrogant and proud when I told him that I could not remember the names of his close friends that he introduced to me at a gathering. I always put up with this behaviour of mine as another characteristic of my absent mindedness but lately realized that I rather not. It was not my absentmindedness that always caused it but it was my over self- consciousness while meeting a new person. I realized that I am in fact arrogant for not paying attention to a person when he introduces himself to me. So, I recently made a conscious effort to know all the ones again in my office and made sure that i know them by name. I deliberately tried to introduce myself to people at office with whom i have never talked before. After some consistent effort, I was able to greet every person who passes by me by his name with a very broad smile. It feels great when you wish people by their names especially with a broad smile (“nice to see you today” kinda smile). Whenever a person introduces himself to you, it’s really important that you pay attention. I normally panic when I get introduced to a new person. This state of mind that arises out of excessive self- consciousness is often the reason for me not remembering people by names and not my absent mindedness. The truth that I discovered in this introspection was that I should stop being excessively self- conscious in whatever I do. I should also blindly not accept that I am absent minded. Probably, I am not. Also, If I really pay attention to every thing that I do, I should be able to discover more about myself beyond absent mindedness. I see a long way to go to completely understand my self....